i thought you were what i got to know but instead you're what i get to write about. next time i'll be more careful or not. when i try now to picture your silhouette, against which others are only measured, it's blinding not because it's pretty but reflective. your outline, a big mirror, is brighter than snow and the symbol's simple enough, i never really got inside you or however 1 might put it. i acknowledge reflections can't decide they'll differ and that this is a shitty way to think of us, so as you requested when we still talked i stopped.

1 more time idleness lights a meal we ate 2ce, years+years back, weeks into living here. challah grilled cheese w bok choy same blue table. not even that great, try and know what it conceals, did i learn something 1 or both times that made me want to protect you? bendix diner's not there anymore, neither are most things and when this dual moment haloes i wonder. in this city that 'doesn't' nap, light reeks like sunday at 330pm. brunch won't cease, night came yesterday, sleep through monday but not what i want to speak about.

on the street by where the city's first trader joe's later got built we saw the actor who played 'justin' on a gay cable drama and this doesn't matter either, at all, except i remember following your eyes in a way that was similar to something i couldn't call back but gave me déja vu so consuming it stung. not good or bad hurt just deep. not able to articulate what was happening, i saw besides it had happened before in almost exactly the same way which was touching and hard. the past was the most difficult thing i ever felt, until the future.

happiest dancing across from you in 2/4, look for a better word than happiest. indicate not a degree of feeling but a kind: the way 1 stood by the fire or didn't, has sucked cock for $$ or hasn't. become delibertately inarticulate instead. spend your summer on it.

scan the same photograph, drink mexican coke made ill by my 'lifestyle'. a room with no view is preferred; somewhere there's a ticket. i won't google you. i promise. how can you keep the same haircut and change everything else? don't answer that i mean, can if you want.

1.1(c)2011xxox